If you want to make yourself unhappy real quickly, ask yourself the following set of questions:
Ron Rolheiser, OMI
HAPPINESS AND PARADOX
Am I happy? Does anyone really love me? Does anyone really understand me truly for who I am? Is my life significant or am I simply another nobody? Who is giving life for me? Am I touched enough? Held enough? Loved enough? Is there real intimacy in my life? Is my sexual life fulfilling? Who has ever taken thorough, non-exploitive delight in me – in my body, my sexuality, my soul, my talents, my uniqueness? Who truly admires me? Who truly respects me? Is life fair to me? Is my work meaningful? Is there joy in my life? Is life slipping away from me without my having accomplished my real dreams?
Haunting questions, valid questions, but the wrong questions, all of them. We torture ourselves by examining ourselves against them. They are in fact more of an instrument for unhealthy self-torture than any instrument for healthy self-examination.
There will never be enough happiness, understanding, significance, love, recognition, touch, admiration, respect, sexual intimacy, and joy within our lives, no matter how ideal our situation.
These questions invite us to come at happiness, love, meaning, understanding, and significance head-on, as if these were something that one could attain through active pursuit and as if they were a treasure or resource that one could hold as in a bank.
The paradox is that it is in our effort to give these things away, our effort to bring joy, love, meaning, and significance into otherpeople’s lives, we will find our own meaning. We have these only by giving them away.
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