Total trust in God is the only true foundation for you—we can’t afford to live at peace while we inwardly believe all depends on us, and that we hold God’s love on the fragile basis of our virtue. But when we trust his never-failing concern for us, his steady unfaltering love and determination to give himself, no matter how weak we are: then we can rest contentedly on his broad fatherly shoulders. And our proof of our trust in him must be a resolution to trust our sisters. Not the way we trust him because, all human beings are so limited, but a trust in their essential goodness, that they want him as much, perhaps more than we do…and that we all meet peacefully in that longing.
I am sure his loving heart is pleased with your efforts, and he doesn’t even notice your inevitable failures. He just says, gently, love me all the more for the falls and I will do my will in you.
Trust means that we (at least!) expect fairness! And God could never make demands that we couldn’t meet, could he? All worries about backsliding are just “self. He always asks us to live in peace, in “largeness”. If we fall, we simply look at him and go on. We never fret or feel strained. Better for him that we give “less” in peace than “more” in strain because he is only present in the peaceful heart. Be brave… never give in to these lowering fears. And remember that trust is a virtue that has to be struggled and prayed for. The reason why he lets you feel as you do is precisely so you can struggle—and receive in his sweet time.
Sister Wendy Beckett
Sister Wendy is a South African-born British art expert, consecrated virgin, and contemplative hermit who lives under the protection of a Carmelite monastery in Norfolk